Prayer Notes #1

A Prayer about Prayer

This stained glass window is in North Presbyterian Church in Elmira, NY. It is the work of Elmira stained glass artist Pat Saxe and was installed in 2008.

Lord, I struggle so much to force myself to be still and to concentrate on  anything, but especially on prayer.  I really do hate

this about myself.  Do I have to be this way?  Please, Lord, if I could simply be still and concentrate better mentally, I believe I would be much happier and much more fruitful for your kingdom.

I feel as if I am missing out on one of your greatest blessings — to sink down deep and steady in prayer.  I don’t want to be whiny, but I am so much less than I could be, if I were able to settle myself into you and seek your mind.  All of what I just said to you is subjunctive, hypothetical thinking.  I cannot, of course, know if there is any truth in it at all.  But because I believe it is true, it stirs up longing and envy(?) in me.

Well, when I put it that way, Lord, I realize that it can’t be a good sort of response from my heart — not the envious part, that is.  It is hard to understand the proper balance between contentment and gratitude to you and longing for more nearness to you and a deeper, richer, fuller, outpouring of your Spirit.

Help me to stay on track today, to use the day for your kingdom, and not to squander it on things that neither serve you nor really even serve my base nature but that merely discard precious time to no real purpose at all.

© 2009 Gary A. Chorpenning


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