Prayer Note #54 — Seeking My True Self in God


In a field in Washington County, Pennsylvania; photo by GAC
In a field in Washington County, Pennsylvania; photo by GAC

My Father, my Lord, my Redeemer: I love you. I love you for who you are. I see in you the very essence of all that is worthy of my worship, the very foundation of all that is good and worthy of desiring. To desire you, long for you, seek after you is to fulfill my true and original identity. All other aspects of my identity are – must always be – subordinate to this defining characteristic of my true self. To live toward something/someone else is to bend and distort and corrupt my true and original and essential identity and so to damage myself.

And undeniably I am damaged. If you had not acted out of your grace toward me, I would be bent, twisted, distorted, corrupted beyond all recognizing. I would have become what you did not intend me to become. And so, since you are the very essence of the good, for me to depart from your intent is to depart that far from what is good. And to depart from what is truly good is to depart from true Joy and to seek after and relish a counterfeit joy. To pursue counterfeit joy is to pursue death.

To you I surrender. I am yours. It is you who defines me. My likings and desires and attractions I surrender to you. Make me new. By your grace entice, woo, prompt, prod, and drive me back to love your goodness – there is no other goodness – to love you, which is the only real Joy.

©2015 Gary A. Chorpenning; all rights reserved.


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