Prayer Note #50 — Wandering

O my Lord and Father, I long for you.
Year after year I have wandered after other food for my soul.
But it was no food.  It was poison.  I could see that very clearly.
I could see how it always diminished me.
I withered.
Yet, I persisted.

But so did you.  You persisted with me.
I abandoned you.
You did not abandon me.

I wandered from you into the desert of my soul.
Still, you persevered in my desert.
From time to time,
I turned toward you,
and you fed me the good food of your Spirit.

Yet, after a moment, I turned back to my desert,
as if it were a flourishing garden,
though in truth it was a howling desert.
I held sin’s delusion to my eyes,
and would not see my desert for what it was
but instead saw its wastes
as orchards,
its gravel and dust
as succulent fruit of tree and vine.

Will you turn me once forever
to the lush garden of your Spirit?
Will you turn me once forever
away from my desert of lies?

I long for you, my Lord and Father.
I know in the deep of my heart
that there is no life but only death
in my desert of wandering.
Please, my Father and my Lord,
set me free once forever
from my desert of delusion.
In you, only you, is Life.

Black Black Raspberries and Currants; photo by GAC
Black Raspberries and Currants; photo by GAC

©2014 Gary A. Chorpenning; all rights reserved.


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