Here I am, Lord. It’s a little before 5:00 A.M., and I’ve been awake for a half an hour or so, lying in bed, my mind wandering from thought to thought. I seem to be done sleeping, though the clock tells me that I shouldn’t be. Have you wakened me for some reason? Or is my flawed sleep mechanism just playing me a trick? And just how different are the possible answers to those two questions?
How will you redeem this time? How will you give it meaning? Here I am submitting it to you.
All of my time is yours. But, oh! how I mistreat your gift! Sometimes I use it to do bad things. But often I just waste it on things that are not bad in themselves but are simply worthless — temporal wastelands. Those times would be better spent if I simply sat and day-dreamed. At least then my mind would be available to you.
But yesterday I lost time to pointless computer games — mindlessly manipulating pixels on a screen. And I read the bowling column in the newspaper. But, Lord, you know I don’t bowl. I studied the high school sports line scores for schools and sports I care nothing about.
I really feel sometimes as if I am being led and enticed into these things by an enemy — someone who wants to damage my life. But, of course, I go quite willingly. I stand out on the street corner and watch eagerly for him to come by, so that I can go off with him. Sometimes in the midst of these trips into the wastelands — sometimes I feel the devil’s pleasure, delight at my wastefulness of your gift. He doesn’t care too much how I use the time you give me, as long as I do not use it for you.
I’m very sorry and ashamed about this. Redeem me more and more — redeem me and my time.
©2012 Gary A. Chorpenning; all rights reserved.
“We must take steps to channel our interests, our passion, and our desires into paths of importance and ways of blessing. We should seek the kingdom [of God] — with passion.” Stuart Briscoe in Time Bandits: Putting First Things First
“We are God’s own; to him, therefore, let us live and die. We are God’s own; therefore let his wisdom and will dominate all our actions. We are God’s own; therefore let every part of our existence be directed toward him as our only legitimate goal.” John Calvin in The Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life
- Prayer Note #35 – A Prayer for Artists and Artisans (gachorpenning.wordpress.com)
- A Kuyper Benediction Prayer (stocki.typepad.com)
- The Virtues of Daydreaming (newyorker.com)